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움직이는평화교실

글 수 26

(마음자리인문학독서모임 제5주 리딩 자료

2015.11.3 좋은교사운동내 회복적생활교육연구팀과함께)



                                             두려워하지 말라

 

우리의 문화, 제도, 우리의 학생, 우리 자신, 그 어디에나 공포는 존재한다. 공포는 우리를 모든 것과 단절시킨다. 이처럼 공포에 둘러싸인 우리는 어떻게 하면 그 공포를 초월하여 훌륭한 가르침과 배움의 현실에 연결될 수 있겠는가? 우리를 훌륭한 가르침과 배움으로 데려갈 수 있는 유일한 길은 영혼의 방향이다.

 

공포는 너무나 근본적인 인간 조건이어서, 모든 위대한 영호의 전통은 생활 속의 공포를 극복하려는 노력에서 시작되었다고 할 수 있다. 이러한 전통들은 비록 말은 다른지만 똑같은 메시지를 전한다. ‘두려워하지 말라.’ 공포를 극복하는 방법은 전통에 따라 다르지만, 모두 같은 희망을 제시하고 있다. 우리는 결국 공포의 마비 상태에서 벗어날 수 있다는 것이다. 그리하여 은총의 상태로 들어가 타자와의 만남을 두려워하지 않고 오히려 삶을 풍부하게 마늘 수 있다는 것이다.

 

핵심적인 가르침이 뜻하는 것과 뜻하지 않은 것을 잘 구분해야 한다. ‘두려워하지 말라는 것은 우리가 공포를 가져서는 안 된다는 뜻이 아니다. 만약 그런 뜻이라면 실현 불가능한 것이므로 마땅히 배척해야 한다. 이 가르침의 핵심적인 교훈은 우리 자신이 공포 그 자체가 되어서는 안 된다는 것이다. 비유적으로 말해서 병에 걸린 사람이 병 그 자체는 아닌 것과 같다. 공포와 관련하여 이 점을 잘 구분할 수 있어야 한다.


교실에 들어갈 때마다 나는 진정한 가르침의 원천이 되는 내 마음의 어떤 장소에 기댈 수가 있다. 그것은 내 가르침의 목표인 학생들의 내면풍경 중 어떤 장소를 겨냥하는 것과 비슷하다. 나는 반드시 공포의 자리에서 가르쳐야 할 필요는 없다. 공포와 함께 내 마음속에 들어 있는 호기심, 희망, 공감, 정직 등의 장소에 서서 가르칠 수 있다. 공포를 느끼기는 하지만 공포 그 자체가 될 필요는 없다. 나는 마음먹기에 따라 마음의 풍경 중 다른 장소에 서 있을 수 있는 것이다.

 

우리는 공포가 아닌 다른 장소에 서 있기를 동경한다. 릴케의 시는 그러한 동경을 잘 묘사하고 있다.

 

, 절연되지 않기를,

그 어떤 사소한 간격에 의해서도

별들의 법칙으로부터 절연되지 않기를

내면-그것은 무엇인가?

그것은 광대무변한 하늘,

새들이 힘차게 솟구치고

귀향의 바람으로 출렁거리는

저 높고 그윽한 하늘

 

릴케가 언급하는 귀향은 전통적인 고향의 이미지와는 다른 두 가지 특징을 갖고 있다.

 

첫째, 그것은 외면적인 것이 아니라 내면적인 것읻. 이 고향은 우리가 소유할 수 있는 장소가 아니다. 마찬가지로 우리는 그 집에서 추방되지도 않고 또 누군가가 우리에게서 그 집을 빼앗아 가지도 못한다. 우리가 어디에 있든, 어떤 조건에 처해 있든, 많은 장애물로 방해받고 있든 그렇지 않든 우리는 간단한 내면적인 선회(旋回)를 통해 언제나 집으로 돌아올 수 있다.

 

둘째, 우리가 그런 내면적 신회를 할 때, 우리가 발견하는 고향은 폐쇄된 국지적 공간이 아니다. 간단히 숨어버려 밖을 내다볼 수 없고 밖에서도 보이지 않는 그런 공간이 아니다. 오히려 그 공간은 하늘처럼 탁 트이고 광대무변한 그런 곳이다. 그 고향에서 우린느 우리 자신의 친숙한 생각들과 아늑하게 쉴 수 있고 또 우리처럼 생각하는 사람들과 다정한 대화를 나눌 수 있다. 우리는 의 협소함과 나 아닌 것의 광대무변함이 함께 포용되는 세계, 그런 고향에 돌아와 있는 것이다. 이 고향에서 우리는 우리 자신이 타장성에 의해 위협받는 고립된 원자가 아니라는 것을 깨닫는다. 우리가 거대한 인생의 그물망 중에서 필수적인 한 부분이 되어 있음을 인식한다. 이러한 인식 속에서 우리는 공포를 넘어 전인(全人)으로 나아간다.

 

어떻게 하면 상호 연결성을 파괴하는 공포를 극복할 수 있을까?’

이 질문에 나는 이렇게 대답하겠다.

공포를 물리치는 상호연결성을 회복하라.’

 

나는 내 논리의 순환성을 잘 알고 있다. 하지만 바로 이것이 영호의 삶이 진행되는 방식이다. 시작도 끝도 없는 동그라미를 타고서 영혼의 삶은 나아가는 것이다. 그래서 시인 T.S. 엘리엇은 이렇게 썼다. “우리는 우리가 출발한 곳에 다시 도착한다. 그리하여 그곳을 처음 본 것처럼 새롭게 인식하게 된다.” 이제 남아 있는 유일한 질문은 우리가 그 동그라미 바깥에 있느냐 혹은 그 안에 있느냐 하는 것이다.

 

어떻게 하면 우리는 그 동그라미 안으로 들어갈 수 있을까? 우리를 단절시키는 공포에 사로잡혀 있을 때, 우리를 타자와 손잡게 해 주는 것은 무엇인가? 그런데 중요한 사실은 그 동그라미가 이미 우리 안에 있다는 사실이다.

 

인간의 영혼 속에서는 정반대되는 것들-사랑과 미움, 웃음과 눈물, 공포와 욕망-이 늘 동그라미를 그리며 서로 추적하고 있다. 상호연결성을 두려워하는 우리의 강렬한 공포와 그에 따른 불편함은 상호연결성을 바라는 강렬한 욕망과 그에 따른 편안함에 맞물려 있다. 단절에 의해 우리 자신을 보호하려는 필사적인 노력에도 불구하고 인간의 영혼은 상호연결성을 영원히 동경한다.

 

, 절연되지 않기를...”

 

우리는 우리의 공포 앞에서 혹은 뒤에서 마구 달리고 있는 상호연결성이라는 동경에 우리 자신을 맡김으로써 이미 우리 내부에 들어와 있는 동그라미 속으로 들어갈 수 있다.



질문:


- 나에게 있어 두려움/공포를 경험한 사례가 있었다면 그것이 무엇이었는지 성찰해보자. 

 

- 두려움을 소유하는 것과 자신의 정체성이 두려움 그 자체가 되어서는 안된다는 것은 무슨 차이가 있는 것일까? 어떤 의미의 차이로 내게 다가오는가?


- 두려움을 그대로 느끼면서도 두려움의 자리가 아닌 곳에서 가르친다는 것이 어떻게 다가오는가?



엮인글 :

댓글 '17'

ansu

2020.01.23 10:18:39
*.243.150.100

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eira

2020.01.23 10:19:05
*.243.150.100

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google

2020.01.23 10:19:25
*.243.150.100

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2020.01.23 10:19:45
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2020.01.23 10:20:05
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